Q: Should I let my son Little Billy run with scissors?
A: Miss Manners eschews telling anyone how to raise their children. She thinks parents should have the ablity to raise them without interference from outsiders, giving them the best opportunities life has to offer. That being said, allowing your child to run with scissors gives them the lifetime opportunity to be nicknamed Little Billy-One-Eye.
Yet I always think somewhere in the back of her mind, she is just dying to tell someone what she REALLY thinks. For example, this on wedding etiquette:
Q: My fiancee and I are working on plans for our upcoming nuptials and have a question. We are young and, like most young couples, don't have a lot of money to spend on the wedding extravaganza to which we feel we are entitled and are hoping to get other people to pay for parts of it. One way we have considered milking people is the wedding cake because they seem awfully expensive. We would like to ask people to bring a pie to the wedding because we want to spend the money we would otherwise devote to a cake gambling in Las Vegas. The wedding is in August, in Alabama, and will probably be Agonizingly Hot. Some people will have to travel several hours in their hot car the day of the wedding and the pies might be without refrigeration for a short time. And then when the people arrive, we will have to leave and drive an hour round trip to a state park to have our pictures taken, again, the pies might be without refrigeration for a short time. Then we are having a traditional church ceremony, about an hour, and the pies might have to be without refrigeration. The main foods at the reception are being catered by a chain restaurant and we are serving bland hummus, fruit with toothpicks in it, and chicken salad sandwiches with the crusts on. We realize that the pies should be refrigerated but our question is: Do you think it is in bad taste to serve the pies to our guests at room temperature?
A: ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME?????? DOES THE WORD SALMONELLA MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?????
I know, I know, you are thinking, Kim, you came up with a really good question about wedding etiquette because I have been wondering that very question myself. I have to admit that this incident report actually happened at a wedding attended by a friend of mine. I know you are thinking that I am making up that also. But my parents, making Miss Manners proud, raised me to tell the truth when one is writing a blog. Okay, that is a lie. Back then, there were no blogs. There was just the National Enquirer and we all know everything printed in that is the truth. Now another question about wedding etiquette arose from this very same wedding:
Q: I have an 8-month old child, who is probably the best looking, best behaved, smartest child in all of mankind, and I am pretty sure everyone else knows it and is extremely jealous that he is not their child. He is very mature for his age, speaks several languages, and will soon be in law school. I have been invited to a Bachelorette Party Weekend in Las Vegas where I expect everyone will want to party, gamble, and hire a male stripper with the looks and body of Mathew McConaughey in Magic Mike, not that there is anything wrong with this last part. My questions is: Would it be all right if my son went to the party in Las Vegas?
A: Only if you don't want those girls to be your friends anymore.
Nope, didn't make up that incident report either. It's my understanding that the other invitees to the Vegas Party had the same response as Miss Manners....... but alas, apparently the mother of the lil' darling didn't get the memo and there were disastrous results. Something was mentioned about Hangover 3 but we have not gotten that confirmed.
There are a few items out there on Etsy that can help to ensure you have a tasty, fun wedding without community pies or toddlers at a Las Vegas party. Let's start with this beautiful vintage pie server from FairSails. Okay, it's a pie server. You knew I could not resist having one in here..... who cares if says "Merry Christmas" on it?? But this shop has some really nice vintage items and has been around a while. Randi and Garrett have some unusual pieces that will pique your curiosity. https://www.etsy.com/listing/170424066/vintage-cake-server-pie-server-merry?ref=sr_gallery_12&ga_search_query=pie+server&ga_ref=shop_search&ga_vintage_rewrite=vintage+pie+server&ga_original_query=2&ga_search_type=vintage&ga_view_type=gallery
Or if you are more of a Modern-Princess Bride-Type-of-Girl, this is a beautiful piece to wear, very unusual, very princessy (is there such a word??). You can find it at Lottaart. Lida and Leon have affordable items and great bling, everything a bride wants!! https://www.etsy.com/listing/155568271/beautiful-wedding-bracelet-handmade-and?ref=shop_home_feat_4
And if you are looking for a wedding cake, check out these great little individual miniature wedding cakes. Any Bridezilla would want them, such a better alternative to pies..... you can find some great epicurean delights at jessieraye.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/92827785/your-own-custom-miniature-wedding-cake?ref=sr_gallery_21&ga_search_query=wedding+cake&ga_ship_to=US&ga_ref=auto2&ga_explicit_scope=1&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_view_type=gallery
Well, that's it for this week. It's 5:00 somewhere..........
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